How did you numb-nuts fuck this up? All you had to do was enter Raskin’s Rhetoric in the City Weekly Best of Utah 2012 poll for best Utah blog and I would be proudly showing off a piece of hardware recognizing the hours I have spent in the basement ranting and raving about bartending here … Continue reading
We were driving full boar to SLC Airport with nothing but a couple of backpacks and days off from work. We were heading down to Las Vegas to visit my brother, Patrick. It was a joint mission. Erin was going to see Ani DiFranco on Friday night and I was going to help my brother … Continue reading
She was statuesque to say the least. Her knee-high boots wrapped around her long legs meeting up at a short black mini skirt. She had long blond hair that wrapped around a pretty face and perfectly white teeth. If Dashiell Hammett wrote her into a story, she would clearly be the femme fatale. She was … Continue reading
Something people don’t know about walk-in beer coolers: they smell like marijuana. I don’t know if it is the spilt beer that gets sprayed on the walls, the humidity coming off the compressors or the stench from the cardboard boxes that hold the cases of bottled beer but walk-ins smell like pot. I remember once … Continue reading
I judge the quality of the night not by how much money I make but rather how dirty my glasses get and how sticky my forearms are. On a busy night, I find myself usually peering through opaque lens smeared with flying mixed drinks, busted blenders and sweat. My arms are usually stained an off-blue … Continue reading
There is no man more dangerous with a company’s corporate credit card than me. Hand over that corporate American Express and I guarantee I will draw a bead on every one of your customers and pull the trigger. Well vodka and tonics become double Grey Goose with a hit of tonic. Every scotch and soda … Continue reading
She weighs 71.3-pounds. Her fur is reddish-brown with soft waves that go from left-to-right. On her under-carriage she has a soft non-benign growth that makes her look like an inverted camel. Her muzzle is stained grey from her age and she has the softest eyes of any creature on this planet. Her name is Shelly … Continue reading
Starting in 9th grade I made a challenge to myself to read all of Modern Library’s list of the 100 greatest novels of all time. Before boring you with the details from high school, I just let you know that I fizzled out sometime before Halloween that year. Too many of the books were snooze-fests … Continue reading
